Are Friends really important in Life?

The Blog
Jun 28, 2020
5 min read

Friendships have a huge impact on your mental health and happiness. Good friends relieve stress, provide comfort and joy, and prevent loneliness and isolation. Developing close friendships can also have a powerful impact on your physical health. Friends are Important.

How to make New Friends

Be authentic

It’s time to get super clear on what you love to do. Because when you pursue hobbies and activities you enjoy, you have a good chance of meeting people with similar interests.

Get up close and personal

Creating a close connection takes time. Two hundred hours.

When you’re just starting to get to know someone, foster intimacy by talking about something deeper than the sucky weather. Gradually disclose something meaningful about yourself and see if your new friend will do the same.

If you need fodder, each of you could answer the question “If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?” This technique will have you bonding in no time.

Be persistent

While not everyone has the courage to do it, most of us know how to pursue a crush.

Oh, wait… are we not in third grade anymore?

Apply similar (but less romantic) tactics when pursuing a potential friend. For example, send the person an email asking them to lunch or coffee next week, and follow up afterward to say you had a good time and mention something specific that was funny or memorable.

Set a goal

It might sound superficial, but the next time you go to a party, tell yourself you want to leave with three new friends (or maybe just one).

That way, you’ll be more open to meeting people and starting in depth conversations, instead of just smiling at the person ahead of you in line for the bathroom.

Say cheese

Seriously. We’re including smiling on this list because it’s a way more powerful tactic for making connections than you might believe. For one thing, smiling takes you out of your own head and makes you think more about the image you’re projecting.

When creating new relationships, people are more responsive to positive emotions than to emotions like anger and sadness. That is, you’re more likely to connect with someone when you share a smiley moment than a grumpy one.

So go on, show off those pearly whites.

Don’t take it personally

We pretty much know what it means when a romantic partner tells us, “It’s not you, it’s me.” But if you invite a new pal to coffee or a movie and they turn you down, don’t freak out.

Maybe they really are busy with work. Maybe their family relationships already take up too much time. Consider that it really isn’t you after all. Perhaps you can take a rain check and try again in the future.

Think outside the box

It’s possible that up until now, all your friends have been 20-something girls who are in school. But why limit yourself? Variety is the spice to life and all that.

You could just as easily hit it off with someone 20 years older than you who is in school or college or company. Be open to forming new relationships with co-workers, neighbors, and classmates, no matter how different from you they appear to be.

How To Keep Old Friends

They’ve seen us weep over the death of our goldfish and laugh so hard that our abs are sore the next day. But now that we’re all “professional,” it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of brand-new social circles and forget all about our old friends.

The tips below will help you keep those ties strong by being honest, forgiving, and supportive.

Loosen up

So, Ruthvik forgot your last birthday and Sahith never made it to your holiday party. As hurtful as their seeming lack of interest might be, try to cut your old pals some slack.

Instead of assuming they’ve become mean or don’t care about your relationship anymore, consider that they might be overwhelmed with work or family responsibilities (and remember that you’ve probably been in the same boat at times).

Speak the truth

There’s nothing like a pal who can tell it to you straight. When a friend asks you a question about a new job or relationship, try to be as open as possible. You’ll build a sense of trust, and your friend will be likely to reciprocate with honesty about their life.

Be virtually present

Even though social media can’t substitute for real friendships, Facebook and Instagram can be a great way to find old friends and strengthen old ties if you engage thoughtfully.

Posting general status updates (“Just ate breakfast! Delish”) doesn’t do much for close relationships. But posting on someone’s wall to congratulate them on getting in to graduate school can be really meaningful.

Keep it brief

Many of us have been in this situation: We get an email from an old pal and put off responding to it until we have the time and attention span to write a novel-length response (i.e., never).

A better plan is to send frequent, short emails or messages so you stay in the loop about each other’s lives and never go too long without an update.

Put it on paper

By the time we come home from a long day of work and errands, we may have little energy left for a catch-up session. But if there’s already an “appointment” on the calendar, we can’t miss it.

Schedule regular phone calls with pals who live far away — there’s a good chance you’ll be glad you didn’t skip it!

Go with the flow

When a friend experiences a big change, such as moving to a new city, getting married, or having a baby, your relationship with them is bound to change, too.

Instead of fretting that things will never be the way they used to (but why can’t we stay up all night drinking wine and discussing the meaning of life?), focus on what you have in common now.

Be supportive of your friend’s new life. Remember, they’re probably still the same person, just with a little more life experience.

Be active with your buddy

Say you two used to go bowling together every week, but you haven’t been in touch for a year. Instead of setting up a potentially awkward coffee meet to reconnect, suggest hitting the bowling alley like in the old days.

It’ll give you a chance to rekindle your friendship while doing something you both enjoy. It’ll also remove some of the pressure to make small talk.

Get outta town

Research suggests that experiences may make us happier than actual items.And what better experience is there than spending time with a group of best friends?

When a friend moves far away, consider saving up for a little road trip to visit and hang out in their new stomping ground. Likewise, let your friend know your couch is always available.